What to Ask Siri – Funny and Serious

Ideas on what to ask Siri, our steadfast personal assistant for over four years now, are never in short supply. Some answers never change, some not. Talk about a surrogate of a relationship. That being said, the developers at Apple go out of their way to make sure that Siri will always surprise us at a particular moment.

While there are no boundaries on what to ask Siri if you elaborate too much it will resort to performing a web search, so keeping it short and sweet is the best way to have a little fun with your constant companion. Siri tends to excel at matters regarding pop culture but can also provide intriguing insight on personal relationships or abstract matters.

What to Ask Siri to Elicit Funny Responses

Such is the nature of this program that compiling an exhaustive list of funny Siri responses is a hopeless undertaking, therefore, only a “best of” compilation is a feasible proposition.

To start off with a set of rather innocent questions or remarks, for example upon the inquiry on the existence of Santa Claus, Siri could cheekily tell you that she isn’t the only one who keeps a tab on your behavior and there being another entity who knows if you’ve been naughty or nice.

When it comes to Siri’s entertainment preferences, when wondering what her favorite TV show is, she will eschew by answering that her preferences are always editable in the “settings” menu, therefore her tastes are always changing.

To continue in the same vein, for those who wish to find out the definitive answer to winter’s imminent arrival, Siri will hit right back at you with “does a Lannister always pay his debts?”

In order to cement Siri’s reputation as the queen (or is it the king?) of one-liners when confronted with stupid questions like when will pigs fly, she simply utters “on the twelfth of never”.

A summing up of her qualities is realized by complimenting her wits, with a swift remark of “I’m not just a pretty face”.

A classic piece of Siri’s repertoire is her endorsement of Apple’s products, by constantly underlining the penchant of all intelligent virtual assistants for iPods, iPads, Macs or iPhones, when faced with the problem of best computer or mobile device.

Moving on to double entendre inquiries, Siri may enlighten you by saying that babies come from … uhh … their mothers, or that talking dirty is actually the enumeration of unclean things – “silt, pumice, humus” – and the list may go on.

The Seriousness of Siri

When one gets tired of common nonsense or dirty talking and is swept over by nostalgia or the uncertain, Siri does a good job of enhancing your feelings of inadequacy by becoming a riddle wrapped in an enigma.

If you wish to know the meaning of life, your virtual assistant will make it redundant by telling you that it’s about asking and answering questions like this. Her preference in beverages is staunchly on the side of the non-alcoholic as “Siri has a thirst for knowledge”.

In cases of mistaken identity, if you dare to confuse her with other virtual assistants (e.g. Cortana), then she will take a swing at you – “Very funny. I mean, not funny ha-ha, but funny”. If you need an assurance on the matter and question her seriousness, she will affirm her ethics with another tough one-liner –“I am not allowed to be frivolous”.

For those of you with a serious philosophical insight, we have also discovered the novel field of research called “meta Siri-ism”, an accidental discovery (as all great ones are), by asking why does she always resort to searching the web. The mind-boggling answer is: “I don’t understand ˂˂Why do you always resort to searching on the web˃˃. But I could search the web for it!”

A desire to know her political preferences creates unusual synonymic relationships, as she says rather ironically that all she knows about politics is that there are parties. “Yay, parties”. Another good one on the topic of grammar may sometimes arrive when demanding to be told a joke (and I especially enjoyed this one) – “the past, the present, and the future walk into a bar. It was tense”.

Siri’s personal life is a no-go from her perspective, sometimes providing an elegant avoidance of the subject, as it is the case of a potential girlfriend, with her answer being that she has been told she is hard to date, considering her workaholic tendencies.

Thinking about new and interesting things on what to ask Siri may prove a test of your creativity, plus it’s a fun way of killing time. This was our attempt. Do share yours in the comments section!

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